From Anger to Kindness

As a mirror reflects an object,
As a still lake reflects the sky,
Take care that what you speak or act is for good.
For goodness will always cast back goodness,
And harm will always cast back harm.
       - The Buddha

Today's children's elementary lesson drew from a Buddhist story about how to handle the very strong emotion of anger.  In the story, the Buddha responds to someone's anger in an unconventional way that teaches the power of love, both in disarming the anger of another, and in refusing to take on the anger that another person attempts to inflict.  Children discussed various ways to rely on love and faith to move themselves - and thereby others - from anger to love.

Anger was affirmed as a normal, healthy feeling.  It is our body's way of alerting us to problems.  "Righteous anger" can even give us the energy we need to right wrongs in the world.  However, anger can also be misdirected or expressed in hurtful ways.

In exploring anger and ways to defuse it, the children experimented with non-verbal communication to express anger and empathy.  In a mirroring activity, they paired up and practiced mirroring their partners arm and hand movements.  This exercise was designed to cultivate awareness of another person, and to be present with them.  This simple practice can go a long way to defusing anger both in another person, and within oneself.

The children heard a story about the Buddha and his unexpected reply to a surly young man who began angrily ranting at him.  Instead of taking in the insults and anger, the Buddha calmly told the man that he did not accept his "gift" of curses and anger; therefore, the "gift" stayed with the owner.  The children then explored the cryptic lesson of the Buddha about actions being mirrored back to the one who acts - and his gentle admonition to make sure that what you speak or act is always for good, for just as right action reflects back kindness to the owner, if anger and hatred is what comes forth that is what will be returned.

The activity concluded with children creating their own sets of calming beads, or "counting your blessings" beads which they could run through their fingers to help defuse their own feelings of anger and bring about a sense of calmness and control.

Responding with Love

The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that.
It lights up the whole sky!
         - Hafiz, Sufi poet

Today's elementary lesson from the LOVE WILL GUIDE US curriculum focused on the third Source of Unitarian Universalist beliefs:  "wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life."  A story from Sufism, a mystical facet of Islam, demonstrates responding to negativity with gentleness and love.

We learned a little bit about the ancient religious practice of Sufism, and the whirling meditative dance of Sufi devotees.  A story from Sufism, "The Dervish in the Ditch", prompted the children to explore how they would respond to meanness, and challenged them to think of ways they could respond with kindness and understanding rather than retaliation.  Children were also guided into distinguishing between situations that could safely be responded to with gentleness, and situations that require adult intervention.

AS A FAMILY ..... you are encouraged to engage your child frequently in role playing scenarios that could come up in their everyday life.  Can they step into someone else's shoes to understand behavior that might at first be interpreted as "mean", and then respond with kindness?  An example might be one student bumping into another in the school hallway.  Were they being intentionally mean?  Or might they have been so preoccupied with their own problems and worries that they simply didn't notice?  One way to respond would be to retaliate - to push or shove back, or plot to "get even".  A Sufi approach would be to mentally wish them a better day, and then calmly set the incident aside.  Can they differentiate when a situation might be unsafe for them, and the best response would be to seek out adult intervention?  An example could be bullying.

Encourage your child to try to live a life full of goodness and love because that is how we will become the best people we can be.

Love for All Creatures

In today's session the elementary children learned about the third Unitarian Universalist Source, expressed in children's language as "the ethical and spiritual wisdom of the world's religions."  We learned what Hinduism teaches us about reverence for life and living without harming animals.  We heard a Hindu story about the god, Ganesha, whose mother takes the form of a cat without his knowledge.  Ganesha chases and torments the cat without thinking, believing he is "playing", only to learn upon returning home that he actually had been tormenting his own mother.  We also thought about ways that animals communicate without words.

Explore the topic together as a family:  Talk about animals your family has contact with and how they communicate.  Encourage your child to be a scientific observer, watching animals and noting their behaviors in various situations.  Seek out opportunities to observe many different creatures, preferably uncaged animals in their natural settings.  Always be careful and respectful of an animal's territory!  Visit a 4-H show or a farm to observe domesticated animals  Visit an animal shelter or wildlife rehabilitation center.  You might want to explore the idea of serving as a foster family for a homeless dog or cat.

Create a family ritual:  As a family, create a blessing or prayer for animals.  List your hopes and wishes for the animals of your acquaintance, as well as the animals of the world.  This can be a nice alternative to a mealtime grace, or bedtime prayers.

Love and Gratitude

Today's elementary level from the curriculum LOVE WILL GUIDE US focused on our sixth Unitarian Universalist Source of beliefs, expressed in children's language as "the harmony of nature and the sacred circle of life."  We heard a winter solstice story in which the sun has grown tired and rises for shorter and shorter times each day.   The children of earth re-energize it by expressing their gratitude for all the sun gives.  In return, the sun regains its energy and vigor and begins to shine ever more brightly, longer and longer each day. 

The children also brainstormed things they didn't like, and things they were grateful for.  And finally, together we created an acrostic for the word THANKS that expressed things we are grateful for.

Gratitude is a spiritual orientation connected to the experience of joy and the practice of generosity.  How can you expand upon today's teachings at home?  One way is to set aside a time every day or every week for sharing gratitude.  Light a candle and give each person an opportunity to name what they are thankful for.  Or set a shallow dish of water on a table and give each person a pebble or glass gem.  As they share what they are grateful for, they can place the pebble in the water.  Or place a large twig in a vase, give each person a paper cutout leaf or flower and have them write something they are grateful for, then hang it on the branches.  This could also be created on a piece of posterboard and displayed on the wall.

Explore with your child how the rhythms of nature support our life, and how the lessons we learn can be a guiding star pointing the way to love.

Love is Accepting AND Dreaming of Change Quest

Today's elementary level children continued their exploration of our 4th UU Source:  "Jewish and Christian teachings which tell us to love all others as we love ourselves."  The children recalled that the last time we considered that source, we heard a story from the Christian Bible (New Testament) about how Jesus compared God's love to a mustard seed.  In today's session we heard a story by Rabbi Marc Gellman from the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) based on Jacob and Rachel, highlighting the importance of questioning gender stereotypes and accepting people for who they are.

While we may wish to believe that the damage of gender bias belongs to the past, there is still much to be learned about gender identity.  We talked about gender as a feature of identity we find on a continuum, rather than a rigid male/female dichotomy.  The children arranged a wide variety of pictures of toys, sports equipment and clothing along a continuum of BOYS and GIRLS.  A thoughtful discussion emerged of their own personal preferences regardless of societal bias. We also talked about how gender stereotyping can hurt everyone - the person whose behavior does not fit it, as well as people whose behavior does seem to fit.  And finally, we talked about how stereotyping and gender bias can prevent people from giving and receiving the love and acceptance we all deserve.

The middle school youth were challenged with a Quest based on the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his dream for a better world.  In today's session participants explored the specific dreams of outstanding UUs; and expressed personal dreams for change.

Through a series of stories focusing on outstanding UUs, we discovered the lives and dreams of UUs such as Tim Berners-Lee (creator of the World Wide Web); Susan B. Anthony (women's rights activist); Pete Seager (folk singer and social justice activist); Albert Schweitzer (world humanitarian); Paul Newman (philanthropist); James Reeb (civil rights activist) and others.

To focus on personal dreams, participants listened to a guided meditation and added symbols of their personal dreams to their mirrorboards. 

PEAK: Know Before You Go

Today's environmental session for the elementary level was from the PEAK (Promoting Environmental Awareness in Kids) program from the Leave No Trace organization. Diane came in dressed as if she had just returned from a hike in the woods.  She removed her outer garments (including orange hat and vest for hunting season, gloves, down coat, etc.) to illustrate the "Know Before You Go" principle, showing that she had checked the weather forecast and hunting season calendar to prepare before leaving home.  She had on rubber bottom boots so that she could stay on the trail, even through low wet spots, rather than go off trail and trample the tender grass/flowers - "Choose the Right Path" principle.  Then we went through all of the items that were in her backpack to illustrate the other principles, and discussed why they were important.  (The children got a special chuckle about the reason for the toilet paper and hand trowel.)  We talked about what it means to "Be Kind to Other Visitors" as well.  The children then spent the remaining time drawing things or scenes we might have seen on our hike.

The Sacred Circle of Life AND All the World Together

Because of the holidays falling on Sundays, January being a 5 Sunday month, and our college childcare/teacher student on winter break, our schedule this month is a bit off kilter.  However, we were delighted to welcome quite a crowd of children and youth to our programs today, typically a time we enter the winter doldrums!  And thanks to our incredible teaching and childcare staff we have the month covered without missing a beat.

Today's elementary level children discussed a very adult topic:  death and dying.  Using our sixth Unitarian Universalist Source of beliefs "Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature" - expressed in children's language as "the harmony of nature and the Sacred Circle of Life" - we explored a topic that can be very confusing and scarey for children.  We learned of the reassurance that our Sources bring to us as Guiding Stars in helping us deal with those "big questions" about life such as Why do people and pets we love die?  and What happens to us after we die?

We read a Madagascar creation tale called "Why Death is Like the Banana Tree."  All of the children were familiar with a close personal connection with death and dying, and were able to express their relative comfort or discomfort with the subject.  We talked about how we experience many strong feelings when someone or something we know dies - sadness, grief, anger, guilt, and fear - and those feelings were affirmed.  We talked about how important it is to talk about our strong feelings within our families or our church congregation where we are in a safe and loving environment.  And we also talked about how we can show our love for one another by listening carefully, and giving hugs or words of kindness, when someone talks about their strong feelings associated with the death of one they have loved.

The children also shared various ways they could memorialize one they have loved, such as creating a special burial rite for a beloved pet, or decorating a special memory box, or making a scrapbook.  We talked about how our church has a special service called a Memorial Service, a Service of Remembrance, or a Celebration of Life for people who have died.  And the children were showed the UUCR Memorial Garden and invited to explore it and imagine it as a beautiful woodland sanctuary of memories when the trees and shrubs mature.

As a creative expression, the children traced their hands and made "memory flowers" out of them to memorialize a loved one or pet.  The session ended with placing a special UU constellation - We Learn From Nature - in our Night Sky display.

While our elementary children were exploring the Sacred Circle of Life, our middle school youth were exploring issues about diversity through their Questing Year session "All the World Together."  We brainstormed social problems surrounding intolerance, and engaged our Avatars in probing questions such as being popular in school.

They discussed the very serious ramifications that can occur as a consequence of intolerance, bigotry and hatred in the world, and what we as UUs can do on a local and global level.  They were also challenged with the seeming conundrum of how can we as a religion embrace a wide variety of individual beliefs while simultaneously creating parameters of intolerance when it comes to those very issues. 

As always, our youth rose to the challenges posed to them and displayed a remarkable maturity and a refreshing outlook in their responses.